'No More Beach Boys'
California fever. That's all dead.
No more sun-tanned bodies, muscle head,
Bermuda shorts, all that palm tree crap.
Take your surfboard, stuff it up your arse.
No more Beach Boys
No more discos
No more Beach Boys
No more rock'n'roll
Blue-eyed baby, blonde-haired boy
Go out and play with your little toys
Your surfing slut with her tanned-brown tits
Take your surfboard, ram it up her clit
Let's go surfing
Let's go surfing by the sea
Let's go surfing, you and me
Those sandy shores look so sweet and fine
A lovely place to show your muscles fine
Showing off to the surfing sluts
Pissy heads, pouring out a rut
Where is our freedom
Our rights are being denied
Why do they make laws for me
Laws to be defied
When we protest
Our words are decried
We are trampled down
And we are pushed aside
What the hell is being free?
Why do they hate me?
Peace must be disrupted
Laws must be defied
You've gotta take your freedom
And push their rules aside
Democracy's a laugh
When governments ask why
They put their countries last
And they tell another lie
(from Have a Good Laugh #7)
Cult Maniax, in case you didn't know, are an excellent band from Torrington in
Devon. The amount of classics they have is unbelievable. Just listen to the
first EP (the landlord's favourite, ha ha) "Blitz", "American Dream",
"Road to Nowhere", "Poison Pen Letter"... And if that isn't enough, they should
have a new single out soon (probably out now).
The band's first moment of fame(?) came when the landlord of the Black Horse
took a dislike to the Cult's song of the same name (must have NO taste, that
bloke!), so I though it to be a good way to start an interview...
HAGL: Why were you banned from the Black Horse?
CM: Back in 78, when "we" all had dyed hair(?), I was always drinking in the
Black Horse. Well, one day, the landlord was a bit pissed, and he had some
relatives in there. When I walked in, he told me to "piss off", etc, trying to be the
"big" man in front of his relatives. I picked up a large green glass ashtray and
threw it at him, but his bouncers were too quick, and beat me up, bastards.
Well, rumour is that the landlord (he's German) was in the Hitler youth, so I
gave it all I could. Revenge is sweet.
HAGL: How did the landlord get to know about your song, and what was the
result of the court case?
CM: The landlord soon got to hear of it. I don't know how. We had to go to the
Bristol Crown Court, the result was that we had no money, so they couldn't
sue us. In the end, the landlord had to pay the costs. HA HA. Our master tapes
and 200 of of 1000 singles were destroyed. Only 800 were sold, and are now
highly sought after.
HAGL: Do you think the sleeve put many people off buying your LP?
CM: If I were you, I wouldn't even buy the LP (too late boys - Trev). It's shit.
Reason, after we recorded it, Gregory (Evete Doll) said we could mix it and
do the cover when we came back from Belgium. Well, when we came back,
he had done it and totally fucked it. Bastard. I hope it dies a death. We went to
London to kill Gregory, but we couldn't find him. We haven't got any money,
either. Our new EP is on our own label, though. That's gonna be released in
about 4 weeks. Wait for it.
HAGL: Have there been any complaints about the pressing quality of it? Mine
jumps more than Harvey Smith!
CM: Yes, hundreds. I don't blame them.
HAGL: Are "American Phonograph" a new label? Are they connected in any way
with "Sexual Phonograph" (the label Blitzkreig were once on)?
CM: Yes. I wonder if they were ripped off, as well. It wouldn't hurt to ask them.
HAGL: Were there any pic covers done for "American Dream", and if not, why?
CM: No, at the time we couldn't afford it, seeing as we paid for virtually
HAGL: Are the vinyl releases the only stuff available by you?
CM: No, we have a tape list. See elsewhere.
HAGL: I hear the LP was recorded some time ago. Have you changed much
CM: Yes. Got better, and know how to suss out managers, record producers,
and rip-off merchants who are only after the money and don't give a shit about
HAGL: Where did you get the 'Sator Arepo Tenet Opera Rotas' ("Black Mass")
CM: Witch's amulet.
HAGL: Is Lucy Looe a real person, or has someone got a wild imagination?
CM: A real person. We all got wild imaginations.
HAGL: What about future releases, then?
CM: New EP "Full of Spunk" out on Xcentric Noise. Tracks "Cool Cats Dancing",
"Psycho Rocker", and "No More Beachboys".
CULT MANIAX "THE CULT MANIAX" 7" EP
CULT MANIAX "AMERICAN DREAM" 7" EP
CULT MANIAX "BLITZ" 7" EP
CULT MANIAX "COLD LOVE" LP
CULT MANIAX "FULL OF SPUNK" 7" EP
CULT MANIAX "JOHNNY THE DUCK" 7" EP
CULT MANIAX "JOHNNY THE DUCK" 12" EP
CULT MANIAX "WHERE DO WE ALL GO" 12" EP
V/A "A KICK UP THE ARSE VOLUME 1" LP
V/A "BEATING THE MEAT" LP
V/A "END OF AN ERA" 2xLP
V/A "NO RULES" LP
V/A "RELIGIOUS AS HELL" LP